The baby is jumpin’!
I’m into the final week of taking care of baby Jessica by myself. Nancy is leaving Hunter College on Friday, and is going to be a stay-at-home mom from that point on. There are rumors of some part-time work for her, but it will be a much smaller commitment.
For several months, I’ve been taking care of Baby Jessica on my own during weekdays. It’s been a crazy, difficult job. It’s not the type of thing which leaves you proud and fulfilled — more often than not I end the week feeling like I’ve been a horrible dad.
However, as I posted before, I set the bar low for my fatherhood. If, at, the end of the day, Jessica 1. didn’t get hurt, and 2. didn’t go hungry, then the day was a success. By those criteria, I’ve been totally nailin’ it.
There are two major question marks in our lives right now. The first is:
1. How the heck are we going to get organized to move in the next 4 weeks? Nancy is way ahead of me on this, so I’ll just fall in line and take orders from her.
The second is: What the heck am I going to be doing in Chapel Hill? One thing that I know for sure is that I’m going to be teaching some lessons. The other big thing is that I’m going to be playing the organ.
I guess I’m at the point in my organ playing where it would be really good for me to have some jam sessions and possibly some gigs. So I guess that’s what I’ll do in North Carolina– drag my organ around to jam sessions and try to get my ‘live’ playing chops together.
Drum roll… It’s here, folks!!
I’m excited to announce that I’ve survived the first wave of organ practicing burnout! I had a tough week last week, including three days in the studio, plus about 5 gigs, and organ lesson, and Nancy’s 40th birthday party.
Boy, did I ever get burned out on music and life!
No problem, though. Sensing a crisis ahead, yesterday I gave myself a ‘get-out-of-jail-for-free’ card– I took a day off from practicing and exercising. I did have a gig that afternoon, but it was very fun and I made it through without cracking.
I feel refreshed, and today I woke up at 5:15 again and gave it the old college try. They say that music is like a spiral, in that for a while you will feel great and inspired, then you will go through sucky times too. The trick for me is to realize that the sucky times are transitory and good times lie ahead.
In the middle of all of this activity, I recorded a great new album with the McCarron Brothers, and also a great Uke record with The Trio of J. Walter Hawkes. I’m really proud of both of these. Also, I was able to help Nancy with her party, and it was great.
What happens next?
Now that Nancy has told everyone at work that we are moving to NC, I guess it’s okay to discuss it here on the blog.
I never thought that moving would be easy, but for me the move to Carrboro is like flying into a gray cloud. On this side of the cloud, I have a great family and a cool apartment in Brooklyn, and tons of great musician friends and great gigs.
Then, I fly into the gray cloud. When I emerge on the other side, suddenly I live in a different state, with different friends, and different gigs (same great family!), different food stores, etc. It’s hard for me to imagine that now when I hang out with someone that I know, and we part ways and say goodnight, that it may be the last time I ever see that person. So I end up subconsciously thinking to myself “When we fly into that crazy gray cloud, everything will be taken care of. I’ll just have new friends, and I won’t miss the old ones.” Sometimes I even tell myself that it’s fine to move away, because I can come and visit NYC anytime I want.
In reality though, I know that when we arrive in Carrboro, I’ll have to start from scratch and build a life that I’m happy with and proud of. I can’t go back to doing the same things I did when I lived there from 1972-2000, because ten years of NYC has made me a completely different person.
There’s no doubt that I’ll miss my musician friends from New York, but I’ll have to work on building relationships with North Carolina musicians which support and inspire the musician that I have become. Probably the main difference from before is that I may not do the random restaurant ‘Jazz Gig’ that used to be my staple years ago.
Obviously, I’m married with a daughter and a doggie now, so I need to be a great husband, and an inspirational father too.
In one respect, the move to NC will be perfect for me, because I’m just struggling now to get up to speed with the organ, and I can probably get started gigging with it pretty soon once we get back. Also, I’m hoping to use my musical knowledge to help produce music, and start an internet-based music company.
From this side of the grey cloud though, it’s difficult to predict what’s on the other side